Sunday, December 16, 2012

Dear Groupon, Thanks for Patty.

Dear Groupon,

You had me at Hello and it was you I was looking for. I thought my life had changed for better in 2010, when my friend Brandi introduced me to you. I thought I finally knew what true love was and it was at least 50% off. Your tantalizing deals and local bargains made me smile ear to ear. I would even looked healthier thanks to a hefty discount at Bronze Tanning.
Fifty percent off at Vine and Table made my birthday the cheesiest and the martinist. Mama and I met our cheese soul mate Fred there. He opened our eyes to goat's, cow's, and even sheep's milk cheese. After we hit up the table we went to the vine. We did get made fun of for buying cheap vodka but we deserved it. We spent all our money on cheese. Example A.

But soon after, you started to suck and it wasn't just me that noticed. You tried to become to big to fast. I wondered if you even knew what "deals" you were selling. I fell out of love with you faster then your stock hit rock bottom.

After you charged me for AAA six times (and took forever for you to refund me), I lost repect in you. Then there was the massage chick that locked me in her room until I would give her a tip. You didn't seem to concerned about it. I think you might have even laughed about my safety concerns. I questioned if I would ever use you again and I even had ALOT of credit!

Today, you made a come back in a great way. Today I met an angel in the form of an Esthetician named Patty.  Today I used my groupon to Dream Weaver Salon & Day Spa, and I will now be giving you a second chance. I've heard many people say that if (fill the blank) has to have a groupon they can't be that good. Patty proved that to be a lie!

I still am having problems with my pseudo tumor, even after my spinal tap. My head hurts and after about 7pm I get into the "fog". I would like to say that Patty (you can call her at 317-595-6000 for the best 60 minute massage EVA) cured me but she didn't. (FYI, she has came the closest, maybe even closer then my neuro doctor) What she did do is give me 60 full minutes that I actually relaxed. It has been over two months since I've actually had the chance to do that. She worked miracles on my hands/feet/shoulders and they all still AH-MAZE-ING!

I'm not good at giving second chances but I'm going to take a chance on you. If you take the time to reasearch and find the Pattys (the cheese Freds) of this world, I think not only will your stock rise again, but you can hold your head high knowling that you are making a difference in people's lives. Or dare I suggest you might even be able to make the world a better place.


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